aug 1, 0125 “on compliments and rainy days” (spoken word?)

(draft, take 1)

you glow. 

No, I don’t mean you’re shiny, 

I mean- you glow. 

like you’re warm,

like you’re comfort

like you’re a blanket when it’s the perfect kind of cold

like you’re a warm sweater when it’s the right kind of windy

like slowly melting marshmallows in hot chocolate on a very rainy day

I mean you remind me of everything that makes me feel like I can finally breathe on my own after days and days of getting my life pulled out of me, work after work after work late nights and routines

seeing you reminded me of late-night singing, story telling, and the randomly productive doodle.

seeing you reminded me of poetry. Of writing. Because all of a sudden I had so much to write so much to say about things I know I will spend lifetimes trying to define

like your smile. 

like the soft moonlight of your eyes,

like the way you move,

like the way you make me feel.

This is my way of saying,

hi.

I find you pretty, and I mean that with more than just one word.

It just takes time for me to express myself.

But I think you’re pretty. And that is an understatement. I wish my words could mirror my perspective

I don’t know how else to say it. 

but I hope this comes close.

writer’s note: sorry, I know this is unnecessary but I just wanted to note that this isn’t purely visual appreciation.

it is, in a way, though. but it’s visual in the sense that the visual exists and embodies the person who is described. 

long story short, this isn’t just about how she looks. It’s how she “looks to me”. of how I know her and how I experience her presence in my life. It isn’t just how a person looks but how they are. :) 

(yeah, I guess I support the “more than looks” thing.) 

(but she does look amazing. I’m just saying.)

Wake up, 730 7/30/14

No. It’s ok. 

I didn’t just

spend sleepless nights

trying to stay awake, accomplishing nothing. I am tired. it’s ok. 

This week hasn’t been the best. It will affect my semester but it is not final. There is work to be done. 

I was not my best. I am still not my best. But today, again,

I will be. It feels like so many things, so many colors

the water has resulted to some sort of black.

but I will fight again today. 

And I will fight again tomorrow. 

1. Your skin may never be perfect, and that’s okay.

2. Life is too short not to have the underwear, the coffee, and the haircut you want.

3. Everyone (including your family, your coworkers, and your best friend) will talk about you behind your back, and you’ll talk about them too. It doesn’t mean you don’t love each other.

4. It’s okay to spend money on things that make you happy.

5. Sometimes without fault or reason, relationships deteriorate. It will happen when you’re six, it will happen when you’re sixty. That’s life.

— Five things I am trying very hard to accept (via aumoe)

Hide,

between pages and the ambiguity,

behind the music and the labored breathing,

behind the silences and abrupt endings,

behind textbooks and long walks,

behind the pressure,

behind absent prayers.

anchor.